Madness foretold Again
by Mettalic darkness
Summary: In the world of hyrule it's all a bit weird. After 2 teens enter hyrule and save it from almost certain destruction in a weird way. Please R&R.
1. Ganon

Welcome… I interview al of the characters (That I know of) in Zelda and they come back with…. Stuff. It's a game show okay? No! It's not! And I don't own Brittany Spears… She's rubbish! NOR! Do I own Little Britain.

Disclaimer: Zelda I do not own. Nor any other characters from Zelda! In fact I don't own any so hit me when you can't find a character you can't find that I don't own! OW! Some one just hit meeee!

Me: Welcome again! To the first game show of the season, in summer!

Audience: ………

Me: Pun intended! Heh heh?

Person from audience: Die!

Me: Yes um. Let's move on then. I have here… Um… Characters from Zelda! Hellooo?

(All the characters from Zelda are playing poker with counters)

Me: OY!

Link: Me?

Me: Yes that's my name! Get over here!

Link: NO!

Me: I'll stick my tongue out at you!

Audience: GASP!

Someguy from the audience: I heard when he sticks his tongue out it plays Brittany spears!

Person from audience: Die!

Me: Nyahh! (Sticks tongue out)

Person from audience: Die

Me: Yes die!

Person from audience: Quite s- UGH! (Dies)

Audience: GASP!

Me: Now get over here you little ruffian!

Link: NO!

Me: (Takes out a bazooka)

Link: OK…

Me: Now this is link! Would you like to tell the audience a bit about yourself?

Link: You suck.

Me: Shut up. Tell the audience about yourself.

Link: I'm dead.

Me: Now I'm being serious about this! Tell me what you are like.

Link: (puts on a halo and floats into space!) ALLELUJAH!

Me: AAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

(TV image blocker appears. No Image can be seen on the screen)

Me: Augh you little piece o'-

(TV Language blocker also appears on screen)

Me:………………………………………….. You piece o'……………….. I …… hate you, you……….

(TV get's turned off)

Jason: HEEEY! We were watching that!

Mom: Shut up. And go to school.

John: School's out today…

Mom: Yeah well………………………………… B- B-

John: Yes?

Mom: Yeah well……… Bleah!

Jason: That's highly intelligent isn't it?

Mom: ………… I hate you.

Jason: (Puts on a Vicky pollard voice from little Britain) SHAT AAP!

Mom: ………… Phhhhhllllleeeeaaaaahhh!

John: Look just go out with your friends! We can take care of ourselves! I mean we are 17 for Pete's sake! TWINS! We were raised perfectly well. Got A's in our GCSE's what more do you want?

Mom: For you to go to school! Because you are my little babies!

Jason: SHUT UUP (Pushes mom out the door)

John: Mom's weird… Why is she like that?

Jason: She wasn't always like that if you remember!

John: Oh yeah…

Jason: She caught that new virus that attacks your brain and makes it unstable!

John: Kauriziumitis!

Jason: Yep!

John: What kind of a name is Kauriziumitis?

(In Hyrule)

(Ganon is in the town market dressed up as a pathetic version of Link)

Ganon: Your majesty.

Zelda: (looks up from her my little pony toy) What? (Arrogantly)

Ganon: I have a gift.

Zelda: (More arrogantly) It better be good!

Ganon: Oh yes! It is Ma'am.

Zelda: Goooood! Now go…

Ganon: I can't! I have to wait for you to open it… And then I take it back.

Zelda: (Angrily) WELL WHAT USE IS A PRESENT IF YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE IT OFF ME AFTERWARDS?

Ganon: (Quickly thinks) A 3 second present?

Zelda: (Happily) Okay! You're looking a bit cardboardish today… Are you dead?

Ganon: No (Remember… Ganon is dressed up as Link).

Zelda: Oh… (Is about to open parcel)

Ganon: Open iiit… OPEN IT (Snaps)

Zelda: I'm thirsty.

Ganon: Certainly. (Disappears and reappears with a glass of water)

Zelda: BLEAH!

Ganon: WHAT? WHAAAT? What's wrong with it?

Zelda: There's a bit of black in it…

Ganon: Err… no there isn't?

Zelda: OKAY! (Drinks the water)

Ganon: Now will you open the parcel?

Zelda: Yes.

Ganon: phew-

Zelda: (Interrupts) BUT! (Snaps)

Ganon: What? (With impatience)

Zelda: …………………………………………… Strange I forgot now.

Ganon: Grr!

Zelda: Oh. I require Link.

Ganon: But I am link.

Zelda: Silly me. Phhhh…

Ganon: 0.o?

Zelda: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGHBLEA!

Ganon: MRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Rips mask off face)

Zelda: EEK!

Ganon: OPEN THE PARCEL! NOOOWW!

Zelda: No way… You're gross.

Ganon: I hate YOOOUUUU! Rips of links oversized tunic! (Now naked)

(Ganon disappears back to the in the sky)

It's so sad but we have to leave it there! NOOOOOOOO!


	2. A portal

So thus we start another chapter in the story of which I am writing… Here… Right now

By the way…

Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from my story and that goes for every chapter too!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

When we left off Ganon had had another day of failure!

Ganon: Another day of failure.

Lackey: Oy why don't you go down here and open the present for her?

Ganon: Shut up… That's not good criminal.

Lackey: But Cackletta did it on the 'Mario & Luigi' series!

Ganon: Yeeeees… That's a point! I shall do that then! Farewell unto thee I say!

(At Jason's house)

John: This Zelda game is complete crap!

Jason: Shut up! No it is not! You better believe it too.

John: I know something better. (Pulls out this weird machine)

Jason: What is that?

John: It's a pocket digital transferor! Not a portal to the digimon world!

Jason: Coooooool! Where'd you gettit?

John: The freeway.

Jason: 0.0?

John: What?

Jason: It doesn't matter.

John: Want to see it?

Jason: Okay…

(At Zelda's castle)

Ganon: (Appears in the castle hall)

Zelda: THERE HE IS DADDY! THE ONE WHO WENT MAD!

King of Hyrule: GANON?

Ganon: Yes?

King of Hyrule: Put some clothes on!

Zelda: He ripped off link's tunic!

King of Hyrule: Look here Zelda! Ganon is a noble man! He wouldn't hurt a fly!

Ganon: Squashes a fly on the wall!

King of Hyrule: ……… Yes… Well. Shut up. He still wouldn't hurt anyone.

Zelda: But he would! He tried to get me to open a nasty present.

Ganon: NO I DIDN'T! (Snaps)

Zelda: Yes you did!

King of Hyrule: Let's see what's inside that box of yours.

Ganon: No It's for Zelda.

King of Hyrule: I insist.

Ganon: Umm… No! I can't let you (Worried)

King of Hyrule: Gimme! (Swipes the box off Ganon) And put something on…

Ganon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Get's down on floor and weeps)

Zelda: You hippy.

(Ganon looks up and smile's evilly in a sneaky way)

King of Hyrule: You see it's a harmless doll!

Ganon: Can I have it back now?

King of Hyrule: Sure you can! Oh… It's a pull string.

Ganon: 0.0! No you can't pull that.

King of Hyrule: Shut up! I'm the boss here and you cannot tell me what to do!

Ganon: On this occasion! I insist that this is very urgent. (Sweats)

King of Hyrule: SHUT UP! (Pulls string)

Ganon: UGH!

King of Hyrule: Hmm…

Doll: I love you so much that I could gas you to keep our love together.

King of Hyrule: Awwww!

(The dolls mouth opens and gases the king. King falls down dead!)

Ganon: 0.0 (Standing in the centre of the room) Yeah… I must leave now.

Zelda: DAAAADDDDYYYY! KILL HIM! In a slow and excruciatingly painful way! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ganon: Oh crap. (Rushes off)

Jason: AAAARRRGGGHHH! (Falls out of a portal into the Zelda world and lands on Ganon)

Ganon: Crap!

Zelda: Yeah! Lock him up…

Ganon: Crappy comical elements. Well at least it's not as bad as materialising something out of your pocket. Say a giant bomb

Zelda: Shaddap! OH and cut off his… You know what.

Guards: EEEWW! O.o

Thus ends another chapter of this story, which I am still writing.


	3. Madness foretold

This chapter starts with Ganon in prison.

Hope you like it.

……………………………………………………………..

Ganon: This sucks!

Jason: Yeah.

Ganon: (Looks up from the bars. Jason is standing on the other side) what?

Jason: I'm dining like royalty tonight! Along with John! Who eats like a pig!

Ganon: Oh… (Looks behind Jason to see John scoffing his face inside the pig dish with a bunch of other pigs. Pigs are Cool)

Jason: Though I brought you a book.

Ganon: What?

Jason: Though I brought you a book.

Ganon: What's it called?

Jason: Though I brought you a book.

Ganon: Oh really. What are the contents of the book like?

Jason: Though I brought you a book.

Ganon: Ah. (Takes book off Jason) Thank you.

(Ganon reads it)

Ganon: He's right.

Jason: Course I am! You can write stories in that!

Ganon: Can I?

(Ganon takes out a magic pen, typical name eh? He writes, "And Ganon was now wearing clothes." Clothes appear on Ganon)

Ganon: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

Jason: Yeah!

Ganon: And with this pen I shall u-

Someguy: Don't blurt out your evil plan as people will hear and are bound to know a way to beat it! Keep it secret until ready and then STRIKE! UNTIL THE BLOOD POURS OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS AND YOU CAN NOW RIP THEIR TEETH OUT WITH A CHAINSAW AS WELL AS THE REST OF HIS BODY! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ganon: Cool. (Writes "and Zelda then ate a piece of crap from her buttocks!")

Zelda: AAAAGGGGHHHHHH! (Struggles not to eat piece of crap but does!)

Ganon: Hazzah!

Jason: Oh my God! I'm tellin'!

Ganon: Hehehehehehehe! (Writes, "and Jason disappeared to Zelda and snogged her and Zelda didn't like it at all! And after which Jason forgot completely what he was going to say! And didn't care")

Ganon: I think I'll call this story, Madness foretold!

(Ganon continues to write)

At Zelda's castle hall.

Zelda: Eeeeww! JASON!

Jason: Sorry!

(Jason puts on a wig and does a bad imitation of Charlie Chaplin.)

Zelda: What are you doing?

Jason: Sorry!

Zelda: You were going to tell me something.

Jason: I'm sorry! I forgot and don't care!

Ganon: It's working!

Jason: Huh? You maniac! I suck! Bleah! (Turns into a cow)

Ganon: Just like I wrote! (Write's "Jason is back to normal")

Jason?

Ganon: And Jason jumped… up, and, down, like a chimp, pan, zee!

Jason: Huh? (Jumps up and down like a chimpanzee!)

Zelda: It's the book! Take it!

Ganon: It was now impossible for anyhuman to take the book off of me! (A human force field appears around Ganon)

Jason: Crap!

Ganon: And now to destroy Hyrule! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(John comes in and takes the book off Ganon and reads it!)

John: What a crappy book! I hate it! (Throw's it in the fire.)

Ganon?

Jason: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!

Ganon: I'll be good. (Get's taken away)

Jason: Ganon is a cruddy criminal! HA! That sounds funny.

………………………………………………………………………………………

So this ends a new chappie! NOOOO! Oh well.


	4. Goodbye

Here we are! The final chappie! NOOOO! Enjoy cause it's the last!

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Zelda: LIIIIINNNNNKKKK!

Jason: YEAH! WHAT SHE SAID!

(Link appears)

Link: What?

Zelda: Nothing! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Link leaves the castle)

John: That was stupid!

Zelda: Yessir!

Jason: Time to say goodbye!

John: These are all the worst endings!

Zelda: Yeah! Let's see a movie instead.

(Three minutes later at the movie)

Zelda: What movie do you want to see?

John: That romance movie!

Zelda: NO! Romances suck!

Jason: Die-hard?

John: I hate that movie!

Zelda: How about the choir of happiness.

Jason and John: NO.

Zelda: Awwww.

John: Enough suggestions! We either see these two movies!

Mr inconvenient

Zelda: That movie sucks.

John: Or

The choir of happiness.

Zelda: Oooooh! That one that one!

John: WE must flip a 64-bit coin. Heads or tails

Zelda: Heads. For the choir of happiness

Jason: Tales for the other movie!

John: Flips a coin. (Lands on the heads side)

Zelda: YEY! (Coin flips to tales)

Zelda: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(In the movies)

Jason: I'm bored.

Zelda: The choir of happiness is great isn't it?

John: (Rubs battered face) Yeah.

Jason: (Does the same) Sure.

Zelda: Blackmail rules.

John: (Whispers) We gotta get outta here.

Jason: (Whispers) I know! I've got an idea.

John: (Whispers) Great! What is it?

Jason: (Whispers) we go to the loo and teleport away from there!

John: Right?

(Zelda is watching them)

Zelda: (inflamed) WHAT?

Jason: 0.o!

John: I'm going to the toilet!

Jason: Same!

Zelda: Oh no you don't!

John/ Jason: BYE! (Rushes to the toilet)

Zelda: HEY!

Someone: Die!

(At the toilets)

John: So-far-so-good!

Jason: Now take out the teleporter!

John: Right! (Takes out teleporter and drops it down the toilet)

Jason: You idiot!

John: Sorry!

Jason: We're gonna have to watch that crappy movie now!

John: Hey! You're right!

(Zelda crashes through the door with a chainsaw and hockey mask)

Jason/ John: AAAARRRGGHH!

Zelda: GET BACK HERE FOOL!

Jason: O.O! (Grabs teleporter)

John: Yes! (Flings arms in the air and knocks it into the path of the chainsaw which rips it to pieces)

Zelda: Eeyahahahahahahahahaha!

John: Oh dear!

Jason: You fool!

John: At least she's gonna kill us instead of watching that crappy movie.

Jason: Mooooooooo!

Zelda: NOOO! (Dies)

John?

Jason: Get out… The spare teleporter! (Sounds dramatic)

Background music: DA DAAAAAAA

John: (Takes out the teleporter) Goodbye! (Disappears)

…………………………………………………………………

Well that's the end of it. Goodbye!


End file.
